What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

How can you know if they are your twin flame and not limerence or obsession?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

I think that being gay is wrong, but I treat gay people respectfully like any other person. Is it homophobic? Or offensive in any kind of way? Aren’t disagreement and discrimination two different things?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

How would you feel about your husband allowing a mutual friend to see you naked and exposed to show off your pussy?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

What is the Replika app, and how does it work?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

TEXT:

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

What is the worst emotional pain you ever felt as an adult?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

The Democrats’ candidate, Kamala, is a total loser, while our candidate, Trump, is a legendary hero and a living god. Are you ready to lose BIG Democrats?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

While wearing high heels and walking heel to toe, when the toe box hit the floor there is a noise. How do I keep the noise just for the heel?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

What's the most incredible coincidence that ever happened to you?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Why is squid ink safe to eat, while skunk spray is not? What makes the two liquids different from each other?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

What are some fun/kinky things to do with your partner?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

How can one select funeral songs that truly celebrate the essence of a loved one’s life while providing comfort to attendees?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!